Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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