so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
