"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
