Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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