i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
