i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
