I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
