how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
