After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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