I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
