Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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