What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
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