dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
