Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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