I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
