i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Ladies don't puke and tell
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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