I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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