i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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