...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
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Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
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I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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