youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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