I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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