come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
