I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I love you. Go after that dick
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
