So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
