oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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