Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
