I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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