If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
