He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
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I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
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He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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