ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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