i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
His hands were made for my vagina.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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