Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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