dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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