cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
