Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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