Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
