I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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