Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I need a burrito and a hug.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
