my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
