this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
