Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
