I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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