He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
