if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
A bitchslap is in order.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
