You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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