i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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