I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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