Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.