after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab