i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
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Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
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He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.