I want to make a zoo with you.
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .