you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
