I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
