He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
