Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
