I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
