Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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