Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
